SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
