just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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