Dual....:-)
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
