I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
