i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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