Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Its guy fieris flavor town of sufferingâ„¢
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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