i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
