Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
