this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
