Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
