AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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