i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
When are your genitals available?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Randomize
