girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
