Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
