I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
