so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
