the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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