Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
