if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
