i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
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