no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize