Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Randomize
