is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
