We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
