It's just like the Real World with babies
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
