I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Randomize
