they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Randomize
