Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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