I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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