I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
