it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Just invented taco cereal.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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