But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
