Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
