I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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