Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize