Christians are straight up FREAKS
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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