Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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