i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Randomize
