Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
