so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Randomize
