It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
