after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize