what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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