I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
