I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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