How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
