no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I'd cum for enchiladas.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize