Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Less talking, more tequila
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Randomize
