For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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