We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Randomize
