i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
you would pick up someone in the library
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
