somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Found your dick twin last night
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
