I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
