it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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