are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
We are all done wearing pants today
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
