god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I think my fart just growled at me.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
