You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
