So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
