Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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