Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
