Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
