You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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