I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize