this just has baby written all over it
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
