everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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