or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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