so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
