i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
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