Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Randomize
