I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
