If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
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