wakey wakey hands off snakey
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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