I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
